Of Shinigami and Snicker Snacks
by Captain Ash
Summary: "Now this is curious. What could a Shinigami possibly be late for?" This is the question that started it all. Watch as one young man goes down the rabbit hole and enters a world of madness. Oh, but that can't be helped. Most everyone's mad here.
1. Chapter 1

Of Shinigami and Snicker Snacks

Bleach and all related characters belong to Tite Kubo

* * *

It was a rainy day as one Masaki Kuroaski and her was walking in the rain with her nine year old son. They were headed home from Ichigo's karate class. Masaki was humming a random tune she had heard, but couldn't quite recall from where. Suddenly she felt her son's hand leave hers, an odd thing since he never let go of her hand when they were out and about.

"Ichigo?" Masaki called, very curious about what her son was up to. Masaki's blood ran cold when she saw Ichigo running toward a rushing river toward a small girl. Masaki ran after her son, for she knew that was no normal little girl. The second Ichigo made contact with the girl, a giant fish like creature with a white mask similar to a fish skull erupted from the river.

"MOM!" The orange haired boy yelled as he suddenly fainted from fright at the monstrous creature.

The next thing the boy new he was laying under his mother's dead body.

* * *

Days later nine year old Ichigo Kurosaki laid alone in his room. He had barely spoken to anyone and barely ate anything. His usually jovial father had tried his best to help his son through this ordeal, but to no avail. The only thing he could do that seemed to get any kind of reaction out of his son was leave the book Masaki used to read to Ichigo in the boy's room. Ichigo didn't say anything, but the look on his face said it all. As son as his father left, Ichigo got up from his bed walked over to his desk. He looked at the old book. He sat down at his desk and opened the book, turning to a random page and began to read.

_'But I don't want to go among mad people,' _  
_'Oh, you can't help that, we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'_

Soon it was nighttime and the young boy once again laid in his bed. He clutched the book close to his chest as he slept, dreaming of a wondrous land far from his home. A land with talking rabbits, mice, hares, cats, and caterpillars. He knew but one thing. He would find a world for his own. A place like the one described in the book. His very own...

"Wonderland." Ichigo mumbled in his sleep as he, for the first time since his mother died, smiled.

**6 YEARS LATER**

* * *

It was an average Saturday night in Karakura. To one Ichigo Kurosaki, average meant boring. The 16 year old orange haired boy walked down the vacant streets, headed to his home, a glum look on his face. He had grown so tired of the same old routine. Get up, go to school, come home, do homework, help ghosts, the whole thing had begun to drain him mentally. How he yearned to exit his dreary existence and find the world he belonged in. A world where anything could happen. His own world. Ichigo looked up at the night sky and saw a shooting star.

'I wish I could find a place I belong. I've always been quite a happy individual, always tried to look on the bright side of things, not that anyone would notice of course. I wish I could find a place where I could be myself, be as mad and loony as I want and no one would bat an eye. I wish I could find _my_ Wonderland.'

Ichigo mentally wished as he then sighed and walked down the streets. Suddenly he heard a large crash off to his side. He could hear large footsteps as Ichigo then saw a rather short young woman wearing black robes with a katana on her hip appear from nowhere.

"Dammit, I'm late!" The girl cursed as she then ran through the wall to confront whatever was on the other side of the wall.

"Now this is curious. What could a spirit possibly be late for?" Ichigo asked himself.

* * *

Ichigo now stood staring down a massive fish-like beast with a bone mask over its face. A Hollow. Fortunately a Shinigami, the short young woman from, appeared and attempted to fight off the Hollow. Unfortunately the Hollow landed an critical blow, and severely injured the Shinigami. After a weighing the options, the Shinigami decided to transfer her powers to Ichigo in order to kill the Hollow. There was only a 50/50 chance Ichigo would survive, but he was willing to risk it. For the transfer to work, she had to stab him with her sword.

"Give me the sword Shinigami." The orange haired boy said.

"My name is Rukia Kuchiki." The Shinigami said. Ichigo grabbed the blade as he said,

"The name's Ichigo Kurosaki." Rukia then pushed her blade into the boy and a flash of light erupted as the Hollow charged. But as the monster got close, a loud bang was heard and it's arm cut clean off. The Hollow turned to see Ichigo standing before him, but he was dressed differently. The orange headed teen now wore bright green robs with a yellow sash tied around his waist. He also had what looked like an elegant cane sword in his hand.

Ichigo ran up to the Hollow and slashed at the monsters chest. It roared as Ichigo danced around, laughing manically.

"'Twas brilig, and the slithy toves, Did gyre and gimble in the wabe, All mimsy were the borogroves, And the mome raths outgrabe." The teen sang in manic glee as he then dispatched the beast with a mighty swing of his blade.

"WHAT THE HEll'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" Rukia yelled, astounded that a mere human would treat battling a Hollow like a game.

Ichigo turned to the Shinigami and gave a manic grin.

"You may not have noticed, but I'm not all there." The Substitute Shinigami said as he then cackled with demented glee. He then closed his eyes and smiled. This was not a smile of madness, but one of genuine happiness.

"Finally. I've found my ticket to Wonderland!"

* * *

**FAST FORWARD 2 MONTHS**

* * *

It had been two months since Ichigo had been given the powers of a Shinigami. He had become a Subsitute Shinigami, and in that time had run into some interesting things. He had met Uryu Ishida, the last of a race known as the Quincy who hates Shinigami, his friends Chad and Orihime had gained spiritual powers of their own. In all that time, Ichigo for the first time in a long while felt happy. Sure he was missing a little school and somewhat alienating the rest of his friends that didn't know about his Shinigami activities, but he had never felt better.

The orange haired Shingiami almost felt that he was born to do this. However all good things must come to an end. It turned out that when Rukia gave Ichigo her powers, she had broken the law of the Shinigami. Two powerful Shinigami came to take her away. Ichigo put up a good fight to be sure, hacking and slashing away in his usual lunatic manner. The Shinigami didn't really expect Ichigo's maniacal fighting style, but their surprise faded and Ichigo was defeated as he had his powers taken. Ichigo could only watch shocked from his grounded position, as Rukia Kuchiki, a person who he trusted, protected and cared for, turned her small back on him with out so much as a second thought towards him or his blooded broken form.

And it hurt him, it hurt him deep, she had seen parts of his life no one outside of his family had, and she was leaving him, with two deep holes in-bedded with in his body and soul, and she wasn't even going to say goodbye to him he released as he attempted to rise his drenched body from the cold red road. He didn't want her to leave, not with those people or anyone else for that matter. He just had to reach out and grab the shell that encased her, pull her back to him and away from the gate of golden light that burned his hazel eyes, he almost had her almost, just a little more and she would be herself. Ichigo never saw the petite foot come crashing down on his outstretched hand. But he deferentially knew, that she had broken something at that moment. He didn't need to hear the sicking crunch to know this, no he had felt it the pain that had raced up his body, and not just from his now disfigured hand.

"Rukia" Ichigo softly begged at the now somewhat blurry figure of his friend, hoping to get a response. He felt more than saw her reply, and this time nothing could stop the scream of pain as Rukia's shoe, twisted as she did to look down at him. He knew instantly that she was crying, his sister Yuzu cried enough for him to recognise the symptoms even without his eyesight, he could sense them, he didn't know how but he just could. Her voice merely echoed that thought.

"Don't move, don't try to follow me." Her words while harsh, spoke of a deep hidden pain.

"Conserve your energy and try to linger in this world a little longer." She continued, tears falling from her eyes. And with that she turned, carefully removing her foot from his crippled hand as she did so and slowly began her walk towards the door, the door that shone with warmth and a continued light.

"Rukia" Ichigo yet again begged, only for his face to hit the ground bellow, and a further part of himself smash.

"Your one stubborn idiot you know that right?" Ichigo growled into the tarmac as he recognised the voice, it was the red head, Renji Abarai.

"Stop making so much noise and die quietly." The ponytailed man said.

"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" Ichigo managed to roar out in rage

"You may yet live, so be quite now." Rukia said, trying to comfort the orange haired teen if just a little though she kept her voice cold. Ichigo winced at her cold dead tone, it sounded so much like her brother's.

"Live your life and survive, do not follow me, for if you do...I'll never forgive you." And with that said Rukia left through the blinding portal, with her two comrades, to face her fate in the other-world. The gate slowly shut, taking Rukia to the other side away from him, and with it a little bit of himself. Ichigo then passed out.

* * *

Ichigo Kurosaki stood atop a tower. He had made it into Soul Society and made it to where they were holding Rukia. Ichigo had gotten his friends from the world of the living to help in the rescue, and had even finagled a Shinigami medic by the name of Hanataro to help. The little medic had managed to get Rukia out of her cell, but was soon caught. The orange haired teen looked down from his perch and onto the bridge below. In the middle of the bridge, were two Captains, their haoris gave them away. Of the two, Ichigo instantly recognized Byakuya Kuchiki. The other one had waist length white hair, and had stopped Byakuya from trying to kill both Rukia and Hanataro.

Ichigo had seen enough as he raised his newly enhanced spiritual pressure so it slammed down on all of them, crushing Rukia and Hanataro. Byakuya and Rukia's eyes widened at the spiritual pressure, because it felt familiar to them, but stronger than ever before. It was a spiritual pressure they knew was extinguished nearly three weeks ago.

A shadowy figure flew high above the bridge, causing all on it to look up. Rukia saw the one man she was secretly in love with, despite the glare of the sun. Byakuya looked up with a frown as he saw the one man he believed should be dead. He saw Ichigo Kurosaki, still dressed in the same green and yellow shikusho he was last seen in. However upon further inspection Ichigo now also wore a large black top-hat with a card in the band that had the number 15 on it, as well a a long striped red and purple scarf around his neck. He landed in between the two captains, right in front of Rukia and Hanataro. The white-haired captain looked at the boy wide-eyed as his appearance reminded him of his late Lieutenant Kaien Shiba. Ichigo went over to see if Hanataro was alright, and to apologize for sending him into the proverbial lion's den. With that out of the way, moved himself to confront Byakuya.

"He took his vorpal sword in hand

Long time the manxome foe he sought

So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

And stood awhile in thought."

Ichigo recited in a dramatic voice, though with a tinge of humor added to it. His little recitation was received with the collective proclamation of,

"What the hell?"

Ichigo just began to laugh insanely as he then cleared his throat. He drew his cane sword and said,

"Off with their heads: Shiro-Usagi!"(1)

His zanpakuto changed from a simple brown cane sword, to a white cane sword with a white wooden rabbit head for a handle. He quickly grabbed Rukia and then pulled out a large stop watch from his shikusho.

"I'm late, I'm late! For a very important date! No time to say hello. Goodbye! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" The insane teen exclaimed as he ran off cackling madly, Byakuya in hot pursuit. Ichigo leaped off the bridge as he yelled

"AND DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WE GO!" Ichigo yelled as he leaped off the bridge. Soon a black hole appeared below them, Ichigo, Rukia, and Byakuya falling into it.

The head of the Kuchiki clan got up, having fallen rather hard. He looked around to see he was in a forest with mushrooms as large as trees, giant caterpillars, a walrus and what looked to be a carpenter talking to oysters, and many other insane things.

"This is madness." Byakuya said. Suddenly a pair of brown eyes appeared before the Shinigami, followed by the outline of a crazed smile, then eventually Ichigo himself.

"Oh, can't help that. Most everything's mad here." Ichigo said, as Byakuya tried to strike him down. However the teen just disappeared as fast as he reappeared.

"You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself." Ichigo's voiced called from all directions as his maniacal laughs echoed throughout the forest.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**One shot as of now. If I get enough reviews by the end of next week that want me to continue, I will! However be sure to share this with friends to make sure it happens!**

**1: Means White Rabbit. Allows Ichigo to make very convincing illusions.**


	2. Chapter 2

Of Shinigami and Snicker Snacks

Bleach and all related characters belong to Tite Kubo

* * *

Byakuya Kuchiki wandered the strange world he had found himself in, all the while searching for the orange haired lunatic that had brought him here. As he walked down a winding path he stumbled across a sight that shattered his usual stoic visage. Ichigo Kurosaki sitting a large table full of food, drinking tea with a human sized brown rabbit.

"Byakuya my good man! Care for a spot of tea?" Ichigo said as he haphazardly poured a cup, spilling a great bit everywhere.

"Oh so this is the noble Byakuya Kuchiki the Hatter has been going on about!" The rabbit said.

"Indeed, Hare indeed. Allow me, Lord Kuchiki, to introduce the March Hare." The top-hat wearing teen said as the Kuchiki lord just drew his zanpakuto.

"I'm going to kill you now you insolent child." Byakuya practically seethed as he raised his blade.

"You should learn not to make personal remarks, it's very rude. Quite unbecoming of someone with your upbringing." Ichigo said in a scolding manner, causing Byakuya to stop dead in his tracks, having a flashback to his noble training.

"Quite right Hatter, quite right." The March Hare concurred, shaking his head at the Shinigami Captain.

"Enough of this! Where is Rukia? Byakuya snarled, his mask of nonchalance slowly being chipped away.

"Tell you what old boy, I'll make you a deal. If you can solve this riddle I'll turn myself over to the proper authorities and hand over the one you seek. No plan, no strings attached." Ichigo said, a sincere tone to his voice.

Byakuya weighed his options. Ichigo didn't seem to be lying, noting about his tone or facial expression even held the possibility of a double cross.

"I can guess whatever ever pathetic riddle you have." Byakuya said after a moment's thought.

"Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?" The March Hare queried.

"Exactly." Said Byakuya.

"Then you should say what you mean." The March Hare went on, taking a sip of tea.

"I do I mean what I say. That's the same thing."

"Not the same thing a bit! You might just as well say that 'I see what I eat' is the same thing as 'I eat what I see'!" Ichigo interrupted, once again using a scolding tone that was really beginning to grate on the Kuchiki head's last nerve.

"Enough! What is the riddle?" Byakuya said through gritted teeth.

"Why is a raven like a writing-desk?" Ichigo asked. This was an odd question indeed. The head of the Kuchiki clan stayed silent for a few moments as he pondered the riddle.

"Have you guessed the riddle yet?" Ichigo asked as he then took a large sip of tea. With a sigh Byakuya admitted defeat.

"No, so I will just have to kill you now instead of seeing you tried for your crimes. However before I do I must know, what was the answer?" Byakuya asked as he readied his sword.

"I haven't the slightest idea." Said the substitute Shinigami, grinning manically.

"Nor I." Said the March Hare. Byakuya growled as Ichigo then shot up from his chair and yelled,

"Twinkle twinkle little bat!  
How I wonder what you're at!  
Up above the world you fly  
like a tea tray in the sky!"

Suddenly a large tea tray flea down and whisked Ichigo away who laughed mockingly as he flew circles around the Captain.

"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!" Byakuya yelled at the top of his lungs, finally succumbing to the maddening effects of this place.

"Oh explanations take such a dreadful time." Ichigo groaned, but then chuckled madly to himself.

"THAT'S IT!" Byakuya yelled at the top of his lungs. He extended his arm and dropped his sword straight down, it falling through the ground leaving a ripple like effect. Suddenly the forest was shattered, the grass that had been beneath his feet disappearing to be replaced with dirt. And no more than three yards away was Ichigo, who looked around at what appeared to be a large room full of glowing swords on the wall.

"Stop this! Stop it right now! BRING BACK MY WONDERLAND!" Ichigo shouted in an anger filled voice as he glared with pure hatred that took the Kuchiki head off guard.

"This is my Bankai you insolent whelp and it will be the last thing you'll ever see." Byakuya said coldly.

"Bankai?" Ichigo said, a shocked look on his face. He then smiled wickedly as he continued his hateful glare.

"Yes Bankai that's right. You'll pay for ruining my Wonderland, you hear me!? You'll pay!" The top-hatted madman ranted as he twirled his white rabbit can rapidly before slamming it down hard on the ground.

"BANKAI!" Ichigo yelled a white light soon engulfed them.

* * *

Byakuya Kuchiki once again found himself waking up in a new place.

"Fushigi no Kuni."(1)

Ichigo's voice, now cold and devoid of its previous mirth, called out from all directions. Byakuya looked to see that his Bankai was still indeed active, but the battlefield had changed. It was similar to the world he had previously been in, but there were striking differences. Gone were the colorful flowers, now all of them black. Gone where the brightly colored giant mushrooms, now they were grotesque and misshapen brown husks of fungus. Gone were the cheery birds as crows and vultures had taken their place. The trees where devoid of leaves and had sinister faces carved into them.

"I didn't want this Byakuya. I didn't want this unpleasantness, I didn't want to _hurt_ you or anyone for that matter." Ichigo said as he once again materialized before the Shinigami Captain. Byakuya took note of the young man's changed appearance. His shikusho had gone from bright emerald and canary yellow to ashen grey and crimson. His cane had also changed shape, having gone from white with a wooden rabbit's head handle to blood red with what looked to be a playing card spade on top.

"All I wanted was my friend back, nothing more and nothing less, and to have a little fun with you." Ichigo said as he drew the blade from his cane-sword.

"But you've ruined all of that. You destroyed my Wonderland and I cannot forgive that." Ichigo said through gritted teeth.

"I couldn't care less for your childish illusion. I will kill you this day, but not before you tell me the whereabouts of my sister." Byakuya said calmly, though this was a front as he was becoming increasingly disturbed by his surroundings and the young man in front of him.

"_Sister_?" Ichigo asked, his eyes wide. Suddenly sharp thorny roots sprang up from the ground and dug into Byakuya's ankles.

"Rukia is you sister?!" Ichigo growled as one of the trees reached out and grabbed a hold of Byakuya's hands, holding him in place.

"YOU WERE GOING TO LET YOUR SISTER BE EXECUTED?!" Ichigo roared as the trees grew spikes and stabbed into Byakuya's forearms.

"The... law... dictates..." Byakuya began, but had his mouth covered by a branch.

"Law?! She had committed no murder! No crime worthy of death!" Ichigo snarled as he stabbed Byakuya's side with his blade.

"You're nothing but an uncaring, unfeeling, monster!" Ichigo shouted right in the Kuchiki head's face as he twisted the sword causing his opponent to let out a muffled cry of pain. Ichigo then gave a dark, twisted smile.

"I think it's high time for this monster to meet his own kind." Ichigo said as he walked off some 10 yards away.

"Beware the Jabberwock my son!" Ichigo yelled as the ground beneath them started to shake violently. Suddenly a pair of giant leathery wings sprang up from the ground as well as a long lizard-like tail.

"The jaws that bite!" Ichigo yelled once again as a large mass came up from the ground, an unearthly roar following shortly after.

"The claws that catch!" Ichigo yelled one final time as a gigantic pair of claws came down and scratched at the ground in front of Byakuya, cutting one of his feet. With a final screeching roar Byakuya saw in front him a creature birthed of nightmares. A hideous dragon-like creature stood before him, grotesque rodent-like teeth, twitching antennae atop its head, and a long snake-like neck with large rounded dead eyes that seemed to gaze into his very soul.

"Beware the Jubjub Bird!" Ichigo shouted as a humongous bird flew down next to the dragon-like creature and began to peak at Byakuya with its large beak, making a large gash in his shoulder.

"AND SHUN THE FRUMIOUS BANDERSNATCH!"Ichigo shouted one final time with all his might as a large cat-like behemoth leaped out of the dark forest. Its mouth was filled with rows upon rows of jagged teeth, not unlike a shark's mouth, snapped viciously at the Captain. It's dirty white coat speckled with black spots bristled in rage, as it's badger-like paws swiped across Byakuya's chest, severely cutting him.

"Now then Byakuya, will you allow me to leave with my dear friend Rukia? Or shall I reacquaint you with your kin?" Ichigo said calmly, a twisted smile on his face as the branch covering Byakuya's mouth removed itself.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Byakuya screamed as Ichigo cackled.

"I'll take that as a yes." The keeper of Wonderland said as he smiled deviously.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**1: Literally translates to "Wonderland". In Bankai Ichigo's illusions become solid and he's able to manipulate the actual environment to an extent. However what his Wonderland looks like while in Bankai is entirely dependant on his mood. If he's happy it's like his usual Wonderland in Shikai. If he's angry however? Things take a dark and sinister turn that will not only drive someone mad, but easily give them lasting nightmares.**


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